The ABCs of Being Mom by Karen Bongiorno

Author:Karen Bongiorno
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: She Writes Press
Published: 2020-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

There will be many times throughout his day when he needs to stop one activity and go to another. Handling transitions can be a matter of temperament and disposition. For example, it’s difficult to disengage your child when he is deeply engrossed in an activity. He needs time to break away, as his imagination and energy are fully engaged. An abrupt end can make your child complain while dragging his feet, or even experience a meltdown.

Your child will handle transitions better if you have a routine for them. Take needing to leave somewhere; this is a tough transition that needs to be made all the time. My children were never eager to leave anywhere. They loved playing at the park, playing at a friend’s house, going somewhere and being caught up in their activities. It took me a while to realize I needed to prepare them to leave. Thinking that they could stop playing immediately and come with me when I said, “Let’s go!” was not realistic. I was used to getting places on time, while they, naturally, had no concept of time.

If I said, “Let’s go!” at four o’clock, expecting that we’d leave immediately to drive fifteen minutes in order to get to a meeting at four fifteen, we would invariably be late. I needed to learn to give my children time to wind down and make the transition gradually. I began by alerting my children ten minutes before I wanted to leave. I’d say “ten-minute warning,” and then continue with a warning at five minutes, three minutes, and one minute. Other times, I’d try to shorten the time before we needed to leave by being specific about what they could do, saying, “You can go down the slide two more times, and then we will gather our things and go.” Our leaving transitions were not always smooth, especially when I forgot to give them a ten-minute warning, and we had just two minutes left. Sometimes you’ll have an unraveling situation to deal with, even when you’ve tried to manage the transition by using a familiar routine. Your child will be uncooperative for some unknown reason; he may be tired, grumpy, hungry, or just out of sorts. Being able to handle transitions smoothly is a continuing challenge and a significant developmental step for children. So experiment with different approaches to find what routines work best for your child. It’s nice to have one to rely on so you can avoid the unpleasantness of having to plead, yell, bribe, or—worst case—pick up your child and remove him while he protests loudly. These scenarios are embarrassing, but most mothers have had, or will have, to deal with them at some point. Give yourself points for survival, and for experience.

Preschool will bring a new set of families to widen your community. This is a time of friendly beginnings. You’ll enjoy new connections, which come easily through shared experiences. You might learn from his teacher that your child enjoys playing with a particular classmate, whom you could then invite to spend time outside of preschool with both of you.

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